On the time scales we have set ourselves, with Stage 2 starting in January (that’s official now I think), and all being well, we could be approved to adopt by May 2015. That means at any point after that we could become parents depending on whether there is a child or children that we suit as parents. I put it that way around as the adoption process in the UK is now “child focused” which means that nothing is meant to happen that isn’t in the best interests of the child.
Of course, the child fitting with what we ‘want’ is also important, as there’s no point placing a child with parents who don’t think it feels right, but it is in no way a one-way street. If the child’s social worker doesn’t think you’ll fit the needs of the child, you won’t be able to adopt them, regardless of whether you feel like that child will fit perfectly into your family.
So, everything from May 2015 onward is in flux, in 9 months (a familiar time frame, yes?) we COULD be parents. We’ve been told the matching process could be a matter of weeks, months or even years. Those of you who know us will need to bear with us. We have weddings of friends and family coming up next year and the year after, if we’re early in placement only one of us may be able to attend, please don’t get offended, and please ask us about it. Nothing is currently set in stone, we can only offer maybes and mights, we don’t know what will happen but we have to put our potential child first.
The needs of a child that was adopted are different to one that wasn’t, especially early on in placement, and we have to keep that in mind.