Support Networks

During Stage 1 of the adoption process we were asked to create what was called an “Eco-map” to represent the family, friends and co-workers who we thought made up the network of people who would support us during the approval process and after we adopted our child/children. When we were thinking about who to put on the map we didn’t really have to do so too hard. We both have quite close-knit families so brothers, sisters, mums, dad, and grandparents immediately went on to it without a second thought. We then considered extended family and put a few aunts, uncles,

Schedule Change

We met our Stage 2 social workers yesterday. Our assessment is starting next week. The provisional date for our approval panel is in February. Well, that was quick. Lots of dates in diaries, a few more training courses booked up, and we’re off. Twoish months ahead of what we had originally scheduled. I think because our assessing social worker is in training and under the supervision of the senior practitioner assigned to us she had more dates free in her diary than if it were the senior practitioner alone doing our assessment. This meant that she could work around our work

The Preparation Group

On Sunday I was unapproachable, irritable, short tempered, and I had a headache. Why? I was anxious about the preparation group that we were going to be attending on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday this week. To most people this probably wouldn’t have been a problem, certainly nothing to get anxious about; it was just a bit of training before we can move on to Stage 2 of the approval process. But, me being me, I’d over inflated the bits which I wasn’t looking forward to and forgotten the bits that I was. So, in my mind, we’d be going to

No Contact! Contact!

Since being told we had a place on the October Preparation Group it has been total radio silence from the adoption agency. We know the dates that is it happening, but we don’t know where it is, what time it starts, if we need to do anything in preparation or if we need to take anything with us. In other words we feel totally unprepared for the Preparation Group. Then, at the tail end of last week, it changed. I was phoned by the Team Manager of the adoption team at the agency’s local office. I assume this means she’s the one

Reality Hitting

On the time scales we have set ourselves, with Stage 2 starting in January (that’s official now I think), and all being well, we could be approved to adopt by May 2015. That means at any point after that we could become parents depending on whether there is a child or children that we suit as parents. I put it that way around as the adoption process in the UK is now “child focused” which means that nothing is meant to happen that isn’t in the best interests of the child. Of course, the child fitting with what we ‘want’


We now know that we won’t be progressing to Stage 2 of the adoption process on schedule. We appear to have sabotaged our own application by providing references which didn’t fit the criteria they wanted. We had to give 3 references, only one of which could be a family member. We interpreted family member to be immediate family, brothers, sisters and parents. We even asked (apparently the wrong people) if our references would be ok and were told they would be. So we continued with my brother, a school friend and my partner’s cousin’s partner. Guess which one is not

Reading, More Reading and Medicals

The “resource list” that we have been given for the adoption process is as long as I am tall (which isn’t exactly tall, much to my detriment when calculating my BMI). Over the last few weeks we’ve both been ploughing through as much as we can before the 29th when we’ve got to hand our Adoption Workbook in with comments about what we have read. I’ve been reading mostly about attachment and bonding recently, much of which appears to be common sense, but I have found some of it quite enlightening and it will certainly be helpful in future I’m


Yesterday we went to what was called an “Adoption Workshop”, we were a bit worried as it coincided with strike action from council workers and it was an 80 mile round trip to get there. Our fears were unfounded though and it all went ahead as expected. What has become apparent recently is that our adoption agency is still finding its feet with the new 2 stage process. This is fairly understandable as it is less than a year old, and they do seem to be very open about the fact they’re still learning and adapting it to improve it

References and DBS Checks

This past week we’ve heard from 2 of our references that the questionnaire they need to fill in has arrived and we’ve been to County Hall with our identification documents to initalise the DBS check. Firstly I would like to say how lucky we are to have the support of our friends and family during this process. One of our references in particular, despite both her and her husband having to work full-time in relatively inflexible jobs and being parents of a 1 year old little cutie she has found the time to speak to us about the questions she’s

Dredging The Past

I’ve been asked by the adoption agency to provide names of people I worked with at two places I left 15 years ago. The reason they’re interested in them is because both involved working with, or around, children. On the registration of interest form there was a section asking about jobs we held that involved working with children or vulnerable adults. I had two that I thought might be relevant, one as a swimming pool life guard where I interacted a lot with children, and one as a science technician at my old secondary school. Fortunately I am still in contact