For many of us Christmas is a time of joy, a time for family, a time for giving and a time of unity. For others of us it is a time of stress, a time of emotional dysregulation and a time of disruption.
Children, especially younger ones, tend to be literal creatures. With little experience of social convention they say things as they see them, whether that may be offensive to someone or not. It usually leads to hilarious moments, followed by a red-faced parent apologising for the socially unacceptable thing your child has just said. Children also have no prejudice until it is implanted into them by external factors, they don’t care about your gender, sexuality, race, or religion. Our children are no different. It is impossible to go out as a family without it being blatantly obvious we are a two-dad
This year will be our second Christmas with our boys but it’ll be our eldest son’s 4th and our youngest’s 3rd in their lifetimes. I don’t think we really appreciated how big a deal a stable Christmas with the extended family and lots of presents was until last year. It was something both my partner and I have always had, so it is the norm for us, for our children though it was not. It started to hit home a little bit with the lack of excitement from our eldest the night before. I know it was only his 3rd
An important task lies ahead of us; choosing which Primary School to send our children to. Ordinarily parents are limited by their location for schools, for the most part having to send their children to a school which has a catchment area within which their home happens to be situated. It is, dare I say, a “Postcode Lottery”. The majority of primary schools in our area are beholden to the local authority entry requirement rules which are, I believe, centrally controlled by the government. When there are more people wanting a place at a school than are available (class sizes have
When we adopted our children we agreed to a contact plan which involved writing a letter twice per year to their birth parents to give them an update on how they are and what they are doing.
We always do our best not to be hypocritical when enforcing rules with our children. Lead by example is the policy we try to follow, but this can be quite difficult in some circumstances.
When our children first came to us, we found certain elements of parenting incredibly stressful. This was actually compounded by the people who claimed to be there to help us.
We all do it. We tell ourselves we will never be like our parents, we’ll do things differently, we’ll do things better.
I am a worrier. There are no two ways about it. I am the kind of person that attempts to think through every single scenario of a given situation and come up with a plan to cope with it. I lose sleep over it, I get migraines because of it, I even sometimes end up avoiding the given situation because of some bizarre scenario I have come up with that I can’t find a way of resolving. The more unknowns the worse I am.
A few months back our home became our youngest’s longest home. I said then it would be quite a while before our oldest could celebrate the same occasion. That is still technically true, but it depends on how you define your ‘home’. Is it the people you live with? The place you live? Or a combination of the two?