Being Dad to Adopted Siblings

From the start of our adoption journey we always said we would like to adopt two children. At one point when we were looking at profiles of the children in care we saw many single children who we thought we would be good parents for. At that point we started to realise that if we did adopt a single child we would then want to go through the process again so we could have another. We envisaged our family as a family of four. As things turned out we were approached by social services about two brothers and six months

LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week: The Interview

A little while ago I agreed to do an interview with the adoption agency who we went through for an article about LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week. At the time I thought it would be a written one and I would be able to take some time answering the questions. Unfortunately I then found out it would be over the phone and I nearly backed out of it. I’m much better at articulating myself in writing than talking, but eventually I decided to continue with it. The article that was written was ok although nothing special, I can’t link to it

GUEST POST: Fostering Frustrations

To commemorate the 100th post on this blog I am doing something different, I am handing responsibility for the post over to my first ever guest blogger. A foster carer giving some insight into their family life… It’s a funny life my family lead. There are lots of ups and downs, Children arrive at short notice and we try to start the healing process. During this time we live with the emotional rollercoaster of not knowing how long they will stay. Our life is taken over by our new family members and we quickly slip into a normality filled with

The Introductions Experience

Introductions are a very strange part of the adoption process. They are the final step before you become full time parents. You are taken so far out of your comfort zone that there really is no going back to it, yet at the same time you seem to be required to behave like well-rounded, calm, experienced parents. You also have to put your trust in the foster carer who has the child or children you are being introduced to in their care. It’s fairly normal for you have already met the foster carer, whose house you are going to be camped

They’re So Lucky!

The main subject of this blog has been covered a number of times before, usually in blog posts entitled something along the lines of “things you shouldn’t say to an adoptive parent”. “They are so lucky to have you as parents.” It is a phrase which we hear quite often, it is usually meant with the best of intentions; as a compliment to us letting us know that we are being successful as parents. The phrase will rarely be met with anything better than a polite but forced smile. Sometimes it might even be an eye-roll or a derisive or

Guilt Without Regret

As I’ve learned over the last couple of years, parenting is full of self-doubt and guilt. We do things the way we feel is right but that doesn’t stop you questioning yourself and wondering if it really was the correct way of going about something. We feel guilty about things we do ‘for their own good’. So, in an attempt to combat this here are some things which I have done, but I am not sorry for doing, even if I do feel guilty about doing some of them. I am not sorry that after you took over an hour

Favourites

Is it just my children that don’t really have favourite things? They have ‘transient’ favourites certainly, where the thing they’re playing with at the time is their ‘favourite toy’ if asked, but generally they have never had that one thing that they gravitate back to, or can’t live without. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think this is a massive problem. I’ve seen parents of children who are too attached to a blankee or particular toy with panic in their eyes as their little one is having a minor meltdown because 5 minutes ago they dropped it on the floor