Pretending

Another break from my normal post. I’m sure many parents feel like they are pretending when they first get the role, whether they are biological children or adopted children. For adopters you have a difficult first few months where you have many professionals questioning many of the things you do. You are not the sole parents of your children as the local authority still has parental rights over them until the adoption order goes through. You can’t do many things without their permission, so it does sort of feel like you aren’t real parents.

Support Networks

During Stage 1 of the adoption process we were asked to create what was called an “Eco-map” to represent the family, friends and co-workers who we thought made up the network of people who would support us during the approval process and after we adopted our child/children. When we were thinking about who to put on the map we didn’t really have to do so too hard. We both have quite close-knit families so brothers, sisters, mums, dad, and grandparents immediately went on to it without a second thought. We then considered extended family and put a few aunts, uncles,

The Electric Fence

Someone much wiser than me once told me that throughout our parenting our children will constantly test the boundaries that we have put in place just to make sure that they are still there, to see if they can get around or breach them. She referred to it as “testing the electric fence to ensure it is still switched on”. Even our far more limited experience of being parents tells us this is true, no more so than the last few weeks.

Being Dad to Adopted Siblings

From the start of our adoption journey we always said we would like to adopt two children. At one point when we were looking at profiles of the children in care we saw many single children who we thought we would be good parents for. At that point we started to realise that if we did adopt a single child we would then want to go through the process again so we could have another. We envisaged our family as a family of four. As things turned out we were approached by social services about two brothers and six months

LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week: The Interview

A little while ago I agreed to do an interview with the adoption agency who we went through for an article about LGBT Adoption & Fostering Week. At the time I thought it would be a written one and I would be able to take some time answering the questions. Unfortunately I then found out it would be over the phone and I nearly backed out of it. I’m much better at articulating myself in writing than talking, but eventually I decided to continue with it. The article that was written was ok although nothing special, I can’t link to it