Turning The Tables – IRO

If you’re a foster carer you’ll be overly familiar with what an IRO is. If you’re an adopter you may not know. Every child that is in care will usually have an IRO – Independent Reviewing Officer. They are meant to be there, amongst other things, to ensure that the best interests of the child are being represented and that everyone is doing their jobs properly. Every few weeks/months a child in care will have a LAC (Looked After Child) review – which is a meeting that is meant to have all the main people involved with the child there

Why Do You Blog?

It is a question I ask myself all the time. Why am I writing this? What do I expect to happen if I put these thoughts out into the big wide world? Certainly the reason why I originally began writing it is not the same as the reason why I am writing it now. My About Us page states: From August 2013 our government altered the adoption approval process to make it more efficient and therefore speed it up in order to help find permanent homes for the many children in the care system. This blog is about our experiences

Getting the Meek to Talk

When my Eldest came to us, he wasn’t the most talkative of people. He was fairly happy to just fade into the background and watch the comings and goings of the house. He was at his most talkative when we were in the car and he spotted lorries, bridges, cars, vans, ambulances, etc etc etc and liked to point them out along with their colour. At home was another story. He was very meek and quiet. He would talk to us, he certainly wasn’t shy, but rarely exerted any will (other than the odd foot stomp). One of the books

Inner Voices

Your inner voice is an important part of your personality. It is the thing which makes you question yourself, allows you to make decisions, and most importantly tells you what the consequences of any action you are about to take might be. Young children do not have an inner voice, or at least not a developed one. It is quite common for children who have been in care to have an underdeveloped inner voice for their age. This can in part be because of a lack of communication skills; if they lack good language skills how can they create that

Calming the Storm

Patience. It isn’t necessarily a quality I would attribute to myself. Not without some internal effort at least. I can sit and stare at a problem on my computer, methodically looking through hundreds of lines of code, attempting to identify a bug and fix it. It can take seconds, minutes, hours, or sometimes days to do that. I can do this where others may not. This is where my patience holds. I do not have patience with people, at least I never thought so, but occasionally I surprise myself. When patience is the last thing on my mind, but is

Where’s the Positivity?

Sometimes we concentrate too much on the negatives, some call this pessimism, others realism. We shout when we want to change something, but stay silent when things are good. It is seen everywhere including with adopters. I am guilty of this. I have written many posts detailing the bad time we had during our matching process, and although I have attempted to keep my posts balanced I’m not sure I have always managed to accomplish this. During our approval process we met only two social workers who we felt didn’t do their jobs to the best of their ability. Who didn’t do what

Choices

Living with two toddlers has taught us how important the ability to choose for yourself is. How it is not nice to have someone else dictate to you how your life is going to play out. Even at the young age of 2 children are capable of making decisions about their lives. They may not be informed decisions, or even the ones in their own best interests, but they are capable of making them. In fact, in our family at least, it is usually the removal of the ability to make these decisions that lead to the inevitable tantrum, or