Then We Were Four

The Nowhere Child

7th December 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption Leave a comment

This is a slight deviation from the sort of writing I usually do. It was inspired by something my eldest son said when he was playing. He had created himself a cave with a yoga mat that he usually uses for doing rolls and other such things. When we asked him about it he said his cave was ‘nowhere’ and he was there because of some sea monsters. I’ve mixed that concept in with some of what we know of his history. The monsters are here, they’re coming for me. I cannot find help, as nowhere is safe. The shouting begins,

Out With Dads

5th December 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family Life, LGBT, Post Adoption One comment

Children, especially younger ones, tend to be literal creatures. With little experience of social convention they say things as they see them, whether that may be offensive to someone or not. It usually leads to hilarious moments, followed by a red-faced parent apologising for the socially unacceptable thing your child has just said. Children also have no prejudice until it is implanted into them by external factors, they don’t care about your gender, sexuality, race, or religion. Our children are no different. It is impossible to go out as a family without it being blatantly obvious we are a two-dad

The Christmas Quandary

28th November 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family, Family Life, parenthood, Post Adoption Leave a comment

This year will be our second Christmas with our boys but it’ll be our eldest son’s 4th and our youngest’s 3rd in their lifetimes. I don’t think we really appreciated how big a deal a stable Christmas with the extended family and lots of presents was until last year. It was something both my partner and I have always had, so it is the norm for us, for our children though it was not. It started to hit home a little bit with the lack of excitement from our eldest the night before. I know it was only his 3rd

The Helpful Hindrance

21st November 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption One comment

If there is anything synonymous with something that attempts to be helpful whilst at the same time being a total hindrance it is ‘Toddler’. We have two of them, both try to be helpful with mixed results, but also for different reasons. Our youngest son tries the hardest, but it less capable of doing anything other than cause his parents to gasp in horror at the incredible dangers he’s putting himself or something he shouldn’t have (TV, mobile phone, glasses, drinking glass, etc etc) in. The immediate, yet ill-thought-out, response being a barked “No!” resulting in total meltdown from the

Who is the Soft Touch?

18th November 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family Life Leave a comment

We recently got asked this question, it was one we couldn’t actually answer with any certainty, and it got me thinking about why we had no response. Which one of you do your children go to if they want something? Who gives in more easily? Who is the soft touch? They’re all pretty much the same question, and our answer is neither of us and both of us. We were in a meeting with a few other adoptive parents and a social worker and the question came up while talking about our children. The consensus around the table was that

The Things We Miss

21st October 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption Leave a comment

My previous post was a re-blog of a fellow adopter listing what he thought were the top 10 pro’s and con’s to adopting. One which got me thinking was this: You will miss the early important bonding period and some important milestones in your children’s lives Even if a child is adopted from birth there are things the adoptive parents will miss out on, usually the actual birth for one, but the longer the child is in care the more that will be missed. We will never know what our eldest son’s first word was. We don’t know which was

Our Top 10 Pro’s & Con’s of Adoption

19th October 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption Leave a comment

A list of pro’s and con’s to adoption. I think this blogger has got it fairly spot on!

Schools – The Results

18th October 2016 Then We Were Four Adoption 2 comments

We have been to visit some schools, and based on the criteria I listed in my previous post we think we have found one which ticked pretty much all of the boxes we had available. Along the way we have encountered a few extremely good school features, and some not so good ones. I had actually intended on writing this post as part of my previous one, but after I started explaining how the whole thing worked I thought it was getting too long to then add this to the end of it. I’ll start with one of the worst things that happened,