Then We Were Four

Inner Voices

10th February 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, parenthood Leave a comment

Your inner voice is an important part of your personality. It is the thing which makes you question yourself, allows you to make decisions, and most importantly tells you what the consequences of any action you are about to take might be. Young children do not have an inner voice, or at least not a developed one. It is quite common for children who have been in care to have an underdeveloped inner voice for their age. This can in part be because of a lack of communication skills; if they lack good language skills how can they create that

Preconceived Parenting

7th February 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, parenthood Leave a comment

Before we become parents we tend to have some idea of the kind of parent we would like to be. I know that before and during our adoption process I used to watch the way other parents handled situations with their children and wonder how I would have dealt with them. The problem with having these preconceived notions is that things very rarely go the way you plan.

Calming the Storm

6th February 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family Life, parenthood Leave a comment

Patience. It isn’t necessarily a quality I would attribute to myself. Not without some internal effort at least. I can sit and stare at a problem on my computer, methodically looking through hundreds of lines of code, attempting to identify a bug and fix it. It can take seconds, minutes, hours, or sometimes days to do that. I can do this where others may not. This is where my patience holds. I do not have patience with people, at least I never thought so, but occasionally I surprise myself. When patience is the last thing on my mind, but is

Choices

30th January 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, Miscellaneous, parenthood Leave a comment

Living with two toddlers has taught us how important the ability to choose for yourself is. How it is not nice to have someone else dictate to you how your life is going to play out. Even at the young age of 2 children are capable of making decisions about their lives. They may not be informed decisions, or even the ones in their own best interests, but they are capable of making them. In fact, in our family at least, it is usually the removal of the ability to make these decisions that lead to the inevitable tantrum, or

Younger is Better?

27th January 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption Leave a comment

One of the first things you are asked when you are applying to become an adopter is: What age and how many children do you want to adopt? It usually has the caveat that what you say now is not set in stone and that you can change your mind later.

Harry Potter and the Early Childhood Trauma

26th January 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption Leave a comment

Ok, so it’s a cumbersome title for a blog post. Especially one that isn’t written by J.K. Rowling, but bear with me. We recently went to watch Harry Potter and the Cursed Child at the Palace Theatre in London, and while I cannot say too much about it (#keepthesecrets) I will say I thoroughly enjoyed the story and the acting. It’s worth seeing for the scene changes alone! What I’ll concentrate on is something that surprised me while we were waiting for the play to begin. I was flicking through the Programme which we had purchased at the entrance, and

Toddlers in the City

17th January 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family Life, Post Adoption Leave a comment

No, unfortunately this isn’t a story about four toddlers rampaging through the city with exploits about their love lives and careers. We only have two of them after all and clearly they’re not old enough to have careers yet (or love lives for that matter).

THAT Question – Adoption Style

11th January 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, Post Adoption Leave a comment

There is always a question that parents dread their children asking. You like to think you have prepared yourself to give an age appropriate answer, but they always manage to add a follow up you aren’t prepared for.

Christmas – Take 2

2nd January 2017 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family, Family Life, Post Adoption 2 comments

For many of us Christmas is a time of joy, a time for family, a time for giving and a time of unity. For others of us it is a time of stress, a time of emotional dysregulation and a time of disruption.