The Nowhere Child

This is a slight deviation from the sort of writing I usually do. It was inspired by something my eldest son said when he was playing. He had created himself a cave with a yoga mat that he usually uses for doing rolls and other such things. When we asked him about it he said his cave was ‘nowhere’ and he was there because of some sea monsters. I’ve mixed that concept in with some of what we know of his history. The monsters are here, they’re coming for me. I cannot find help, as nowhere is safe. The shouting begins,

Out With Dads

Children, especially younger ones, tend to be literal creatures. With little experience of social convention they say things as they see them, whether that may be offensive to someone or not. It usually leads to hilarious moments, followed by a red-faced parent apologising for the socially unacceptable thing your child has just said. Children also have no prejudice until it is implanted into them by external factors, they don’t care about your gender, sexuality, race, or religion. Our children are no different. It is impossible to go out as a family without it being blatantly obvious we are a two-dad

The Christmas Quandary

This year will be our second Christmas with our boys but it’ll be our eldest son’s 4th and our youngest’s 3rd in their lifetimes. I don’t think we really appreciated how big a deal a stable Christmas with the extended family and lots of presents was until last year. It was something both my partner and I have always had, so it is the norm for us, for our children though it was not. It started to hit home a little bit with the lack of excitement from our eldest the night before. I know it was only his 3rd

The Helpful Hindrance

If there is anything synonymous with something that attempts to be helpful whilst at the same time being a total hindrance it is ‘Toddler’. We have two of them, both try to be helpful with mixed results, but also for different reasons. Our youngest son tries the hardest, but it less capable of doing anything other than cause his parents to gasp in horror at the incredible dangers he’s putting himself or something he shouldn’t have (TV, mobile phone, glasses, drinking glass, etc etc) in. The immediate, yet ill-thought-out, response being a barked “No!” resulting in total meltdown from the

Who is the Soft Touch?

We recently got asked this question, it was one we couldn’t actually answer with any certainty, and it got me thinking about why we had no response. Which one of you do your children go to if they want something? Who gives in more easily? Who is the soft touch? They’re all pretty much the same question, and our answer is neither of us and both of us. We were in a meeting with a few other adoptive parents and a social worker and the question came up while talking about our children. The consensus around the table was that

When Things Go Wrong

In the current adoption climate adopters being linked with a child and then having that link severed is becoming all the more common. I’m going to revisit the worst part of our adoption journey from a less emotional point of view, in the hope that our experiences will help others that may be going through the same: The time when our provisional link fell through and we managed to retrieve it again. During our adoption training we were given the impression that there are 3 fundamental things which will help lead to a more stable adoption: Communication, honesty, and trust. The three things

The Things We Lose

Many of the freedoms that we have as adults get compromised when we become parents. That is true regardless of how you become a parent. This isn’t something to complain about, it is something that any parent should expect, but that doesn’t mean we can’t miss them and, if I’m being brutally honest, resent their loss just a little. One thing that we, as adoptive parents, don’t get to choose is how much we share about our children on social media. We aren’t able to post videos of their first steps, or photos of the complete state they get into