Then We Were Four

It’s been a while, but here we are…

24th September 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Post Placement Leave a comment

So, for some reason I’ve been a bit busy for writing blog posts. This isn’t just adoption related but work related too as (don’t tell anyone but…) a lot of my posts are actually written on my work computer. We are currently on the cusp of sending off our adoption paperwork so that the court can decide whether to change us from ‘Prospective Adoptive Parents’ to ‘Adoptive Parents’. There are quite a few differences between the two, mostly legal, but at that point we no longer need to deal with social services unless we want to. We would contact their

What Happens Next?

5th August 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Matching, Post Adoption, Post Placement Leave a comment

So, we have our children Placed with us. That’s the technical term ‘Placed’ – as in they have a Placement Order so they can be Placed with prospective adoptive parents. Yes, that’s technically what we still are. When does that change? The answer to that varies depending on the age of the children, how settled they are, and what your personal circumstances are. The children need to be Placed for a minimum of 10 weeks before the prospective parents can apply for what is called an Adoption Order. This is when the case goes to court and if successful the

And so it continues…

8th July 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Matching, parenthood Leave a comment

A few more observations: 9. Driving on a dual carriageway (highway for those of you across the pond) whilst doing a full family rendition of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star (with actions for the non-drivers) is a common occurrence. 10. Replace Twinkle Twinkle with any other nursery rhyme/song and repeat point 9. 11. Associating video with audio from a different source is learnt behaviour, young children just don’t get it. 12. Proper names of parents no longer exist. Forget them and go with the parental titles instead, regardless of whether children are actually present. Unless of course you want to be

Introductions

7th July 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Matching, Stage 2 Leave a comment

Introductions have been an amazing experience. Wonderful, exciting, nerve wracking, and tiring. One thing is clear though, if you have a good foster family helping you things go a lot better than they otherwise would. Introductions are customised to the age of the child/children that you’re being introduced to. Younger ones tend to have a shorter period, older ones slightly longer. Sibling groups longer still but again depending on their age. They are structured so that the first half is based at the foster carer’s house with them showing you the routine that the child/children is currently in, and slowly

And so it begins…

7th July 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Matching, parenthood, Stage 2 Leave a comment

Introductions are over and we are now in full Parental Responsibility mode. Before I say anything about the introductions in general I have a list of observations. 1. Get used to drinking formerly hot drinks cold, or only half of them, or not at all. Certainly get used to searching for randomly placed cups with full or half drunk drinks in them once the children are in bed. 2. Children somehow generate crumbs. Even if they have not had anything to eat, they are just there on the carpet inexplicably. 3. Forbidden things are nectar to children. Nothing is sacred,

Introducing Introductions

25th June 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family, Matching, Stage 2 Leave a comment

One year ago today we officially got accepted onto the adoption agency’s books, and entered The Process. One year later we met our children for the first time. From the outset it was clear that the foster carer had been preparing them for meeting us and the first words spoken, fairly unprompted, by one of the children was “It’s Daddy and Dad”. Definitely heart melting! We only spent a couple of hours with them today, and an amazing couple of hours it was. We saw a little bit of foster carer discipline which was very good to see, did a

Matching Panel

14th June 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family, Matching 3 comments

So, just before being able to write a post about Matching Panel I was “advised” to stop writing my blog publicly. This post is the first one I’ve written since then and is intended to be privately published. Despite having been “advised” for a good 10 minutes about why I shouldn’t write it I am still unclear on the precise reasoning behind it. Anyway, we had Panel. We were asked a few questions about how we will cope, including about recent losses and how that will affect OH. We were asked about how we would deal with questions about birth

The Final Straight Approaches

23rd May 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Matching Leave a comment

We have met the foster carer, met the medical advisor, met the children’s new social worker and have had written confirmation of our matching panel date through the post. All systems are go for leaping that final hurdle and on to the final straight. The foster carer is clearly a very lovely person who is very caring towards the children we are trying to adopt. In fact, the whole foster family seems absolutely brilliant, which means that there are some very large shoes to fill! The foster carer whisked us away from the social workers during our meeting, stealing my pad

Tributes

28th April 2015 Then We Were Four Adoption, Family, Matching Leave a comment

Tributes – excerpt